How to enjoy a holiday with a toddler

3. Packing the Practicalities

So, you’ve lowered your expectations and you’ve found the perfect place to stay. Now what?

The more you can plan and pack at home the better. Midnight jaunts to find a special type of milk or infant paracetamol – with products in a different language – are not fun. Up your luggage allowance if you can and dedicate one large suitcase solely to your toddler. Along with their clothing (sun safe suits and rash vests are a must, along with a hat they will actually leave on their head and non-slip water shoes), take as much from home as you can to cover all eventualities.

If your toddler only eats one brand of baby crisps for their snack every day, woe betide you if you don’t pack a stash of them! Take any medication you use at home, don’t rely on getting it locally, and more sun cream (and after sun and calamine lotion) than you could ever imagine using. Pack favourite soft toys and comfort objects, blankets, even a pillow to help settle for naps, a few favourite books and toys and any music or light shows you use at bedtime.

4. At the Airport and On the Flight

Try to watch some video clips of airports and security procedures before you go. This will prepare your toddler for what’s coming. Paying for a ‘skip the queue’ upgrade at security is an absolute must for some families. If funds stretch, a family friendly lounge pass can pay dividends in starting your holiday calmly. Hold onto your buggy until the very last moment, don’t check it into the hold at check-in! Pack a hand luggage bag for your toddler with new toys and books. This is more likely to keep them occupied because of the novelty value. If all else fails though, don’t be afraid to use screens. While too much screen time is not great for toddlers, sometimes an iPad pre-loaded with favourite videos is worth its weight in gold. Finally, when you’re through security head for the obligatory Boots or WHSmith and stock up on snacks for your toddler to munch on during the flight. Don’t rely on them wanting to eat the plane food!

5. Jet-Lag and Other Sleep Problems

Toddlers dislike sleeping at the best of times, but on holiday – in a new environment and with jet-lag to boot – it’s usually the first thing to nose dive. Sometimes relaxing a little over bedtime and naptime is the answer. Often, allowing them to snooze in their buggy or a carrier at night while you enjoy the evening entertainment is less fraught than contemplating babysitting services. Don’t worry too much about disrupting what happens at home. Instead focus on enjoying your holiday and going with the flow as much as possible. When it comes to jet-lag, the best solution is to observe the local time-zone as much and as quickly as possible. Try to eat according to the local time, not UK time. Get as much natural light as possible as soon as you can in the morning. If you had a rough night and your toddler is finally having a lay in, it may be far worse to leave them to sleep. Instead – open the curtains, wake them up and welcome in the beautiful new day, however much you feel like going back to bed.

6. Eating Abroad with Toddlers

Dining abroad with toddlers and adventurous eating are not words that usually go together. All toddlers are naturally neophobic. That means they are genetically wired to refuse all new foods. In a clever quirk of nature, this reluctance to try anything novel protects the toddler by preventing them from accidentally consuming something that may be poisonous. While the delicious local Paella or Goulash is obviously not poisonous, your toddler’s genetics don’t know that. Don’t stress their eating on holiday. It’s OK that they only eat white, beige or yellow food (namely breadsticks, cheese, rice, chips, yoghurt and ice cream) for two weeks. It really won’t do them any lasting damage. When they’re older, the neophobia naturally wanes. There will be plenty of years for them to mature their palate with local delicacies.

7. Boundaries and Consistency

Holidays are usually a time to relax and let things go a little. Should the same apply to discipline? Could you say “yes” to things you normally say no to? Should you buy everything your toddler asks for? In one word – no. Yes, holidays are a great time to let your toddler explore, to have more autonomy and to bond with them. They are not however a time to become permissive. That doesn’t mean getting super-strict, that will totally back-fire too. Toddlers need boundaries and most of all they need consistency from you. The whole holiday has already produced so much inconsistency that they need you to be just who you are at home when it comes to your expectations of them. Simply, while you need boundaries to keep them safe, they need your boundaries to help them to feel safe. Just make sure that you discipline as gently and compassionately as possible.

8.  The Elusive ‘Me Time’ and Relaxation

Let’s be frank here. Me-time and toddlers just don’t mix well. It’s much better to aim for family time with a few snippets of time alone to top up your emotional wellbeing tank whenever you can snatch them. Couple time however is not a particularly realistic aim.

There are some wonderful creches and kids’ clubs around the world and certainly many toddlers who thrive in attending them. However, child psychology tells us that toddlers need their parents and will do anything they can to avoid separation from them. You may dearly wish that your toddler wouldn’t scream, sob and reach out for you like you were abandoning them every time you try to drop them off at the hotel creche. However, your toddler is however being totally normal. From a child-development perspective, it’s actually far more worrying if they don’t act like they’ll never see you again. Toddlers need time to build bonds with new caregivers and the standard one or two-week holiday really doesn’t afford that time. Instead, it’s more realistic to plan time alone for just one parent, while the other cares for the toddler and take shifts. One day one parent can go for a massage, while the other can enjoy a game of tennis the next day. Your toddler may be happy that they are with at least one parent at any given time, rather than being in a strange place surrounded by strangers.

9. What to do When They Tantrum

Hopefully by now you’ve accepted that your toddler will tantrum on holiday, it’s not a case of “if”, but “when”. So, what should you do when the inevitable happens? First off – stay calm, you’re not the first parent whose toddler has had tantrums at the resort and you won’t be the last. Make sure your toddler is safe and not in any imminent danger. Try to find a quiet spot to move to. Then sit with them until they are calm enough to have a hug and talk through what happened.

When the tantrum’s over move on. Don’t dwell on it – it won’t help anyone. Get back to enjoying your holiday together.

10. What to do When You Tantrum

It’s not only toddlers that tantrum – parents do too. Holidays, especially ones that don’t go as planned – are a common environment for fraught relationships and fights. Let’s face it, all parents want to enjoy their holiday with their toddler. Parents can quickly lose their temper, not only with their toddlers, but each other too. Ultimately you can’t control how your toddler behaves on holiday, but you can control how you behave. If you want your toddler to be calm and polite, then you must model that behaviour yourself. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is to change the way you behave.

Holidays are a great time to get into new habits, downloading a mindfulness app, or a “how to handle stress” book to take with you can pay dividends. Ultimately, you’re the one with all the power to change and enjoy the holiday as much as possible!

So – these are our tips for hopefully a succesful holiday with toddlers………but we all know that in reality, you need another holiday to get over the holiday with toddlers! So relax in the thought that you are not alone.